For any woman struggling with infertility, a pregnancy announcement from a friend, coworker or family member comes with a great deal of mixed emotions.  Of course you are happy for them, but there is a tiny part of you that feels a sting.  You often find yourself wondering if you will every be the one with “news.”  You hug your friend, smile with joy and cry inside. You are after all, a normal human with emotions and it is totally OK.

Then one day the tables turn and you are the one with the “news.”  You have dreamed of this day and it is finally here.  Do you go big? Do you keep it low-key? Everyone has their own way of making their announcement and you have to do what feels right for you.  Marc and I made our announcements in stages.

On Thanksgiving we were with my family, parents, sister, Aunt and cousins and though my parents and sister already knew, we wanted it to be special for my family.  After all, my family cheered me on every step of the way and would as we say “schep nachas” from such good news.   To make the announcement we ordered custom pink and white M&M’s.  They had butterflies and said “Coming Soon”, “Cool Cuz” and “June, 2018.”  We put them in a dish on the table with all of the appetizers waiting for the first customer.  For some reason the minutes felt like hours and finally my cousin Jodi came over and said “who brought these?”  Clearly they didn’t go with the mini pizza bagels, veggies and mini hot dogs! I said “I did!”  She took a few in her hand and read them and looked and me and said “Are you?”  and I said “Yes!”  She screamed with excitement and ran to hug me.  Quickly the hugs came pouring in. It was so exciting to share the news!

A few weeks later we were with Marc’s family for Chanukah.  We decided to save the announcement as the final gift for his grandmother.  We wrapped a customized card in a frame and nervously gave it to her. It read “Sugar and spice and everything nice. That’s what little girls are made of! Coming June, 2018 Love, Pamela and Marc.”  She opened it and said “how adorable!” Marc said “Grandma, read it out loud.”  She did and said “so cute.”  Not getting what it meant.  Finally, Marc’s aunt jumped up and said “You’re pregnant!” And the light bulb went off! We officially stole Chanukah.  Best gift ever.

Later that night we shared the announcement on social media and felt such an incredible outpouring of love and support from friends old and new.  It was really real.  I didn’t look pregnant yet, but the world now knew the secret we had been keeping and it felt great.

How ever and whenever you choose to share your news, do what makes you happy and feels right.  Want to through a party? Go for it! You earned it.  Want to keep the secret as long as you can? Sure! There is nothing like sitting with your partner knowing your world is about to change and the intimacy of being the only ones who know.

When you are ready let the love and joy flood in. You deserve it and so does your little one to be.